Something to Work With
November 21, 2010 § 5 Comments
It’s taken as long as an elephant’s gestation, but an insight about my lack of poetic writing is finally here. I could set the stage (I was walking the dog, blah, blah, blah…) but really it’s about pieces finally drifting into place. For those of you who need catching up, here’s the recap:
I’ve been writing poetry passionately for about two years and lost momentum. The main factors I identified were losing much of my constant anxiety and head spinning after becoming addicted to Cesar Millan’s dog psychology, which led to the loss of my angst. Angst fueled my writing, so I was struggling to find inspiration. I’ve been lucky enough to find a creativity coach and after going through a number of exercises, I found myself feeling as if nothing had changed at all. He was supportive and suggested after my last pathetic plea (I felt so guilty about it, I even deleted the sent copy from my email) that I let go and allow myself to be, to gestate. I guess I had carried this weight long enough – the insight arrived.
Writer’s observe (or I do); they hold a part of themselves separate so they can record, analyse, ponder, interpret. Since I have lost my angst, I’m living more in the moment – I’m not standing aside or storing or wondering. I’m simply there. And when I go into my head to see what was captured, there is nothing. The machine wasn’t on, it was being instead of doing.
All my other interpretations have felt wrong to me. This one feels right. Now I have something to work with.