(Spoiler) About Your Future
August 7, 2010 § 9 Comments
About a year ago, I dated a big, bearded gut guy (what a great Freudian typo – he was large there, too) with a great sense of humor. But during a party, he kept distracting me verbally and physically off of the topics I was engaged in. When I asked him about it, he said he was uncomfortable with “serious stuff.” That was our last date. His serious was my interesting and my acceptance was his denial. I had been talking about illness.
Here’s the spoiler: We’re all gonna die. And he couldn’t face it. Even talking about cancer, which the group was, caused him to panic. Now, I admit I’m scared. I’d like to stay around and I want to make sure my daughter and dogs are safe. But I know I can’t. So I’m doing the best I can to get there – the illusive there where I’m comfortable and secure about the inevitable.
Recently, I found two ways to explore the big D: I’ve become Facebook friends with DEATH. He has a big smiley face and tells lots of grim reaper jokes. He’s a cool guy and shares lots of comforting or at least philosophically relevant information. And then there’s Dead Advice, a blog in which people write letters that begin “Now that I’m dead, I want to tell you a few things.” I want to write a letter, but it would be to my daughter and she would know it, so it’s best left unpublished. So, in its place, soon a poem will come. This weekend. Tomorrow.
If you were to write that letter, to whom would you write? And would you want it read before you died?