Leaving the Church of Nothing

December 21, 2008 § 6 Comments

hanukkahI have a checkered spiritual past. Born of a vehemently atheist father – believing in G-d was stupid – and a mom who was raised Catholic, but didn’t practice, my childhood religion was the Church of Nothing.  We were secular Christians, with Christmas trees and Easter baskets and an occasional trip to Unitarian land – my sisters and I asked to go because our friends were talking about something called “church” – for Sunday school.

So it was a surprise when my father revealed, after we were grown, that his mother was Jewish. He would say no more than that. At the time – he is dead now – I wasn’t curious about his upbringing and asked no questions about how he was raised.

It’s a long story, too long for a blog, but I’ve spent many years finding my spiritual way, turning from atheist to agnostic to humanist to my own version of faith. In what, I can’t say, for the more time I spend contemplating, the more mystified I am.

What I do know is that my life is richer and sweeter when I act “as if.”

This year, I’m grateful to have a nurturing spiritual community, Firepit Minyan. I’m embracing my father’s heritage and feel blessed.

This is the first night of Hanukkah. My daughter and I are lighting the menorah, saying the blessings and leaving the Church of Nothing behind.

For now, Mystery tastes of dark chocolate.

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