Nov 11 09: Rebuilding
2009 November 11
Try as I might, I can’t think of a creative way to tell the Poetic Asides prompt each day, so here it is: write a construction poem.
Rebuilding
They strip the asphalt to
expose the wood, and rip the
bales of shingles free. Each nail is
hammered home with the precision of
a surgeon. We are the best, the salesman
said, you won’t need another roof for
twenty years. Later, they sweep the
driveway clean, taking months of
leaves with the glittery
remnants of this old house.
I want to rebuild from the bottom up;
to polish the first promise until it
reflects the moon. I want to tear down
the misplaced words and replace them
with compassion. I don’t need a salesman
to tell me what is right. It’s what’s already gone.
Let me get this straight. You’re a hatchling?
Well, it’s been about two years. Is there a term for a toddler bird?
(Well said Mary!)
Here I am in far Seattle and scattered all about, using a computer – not my Mac, not even remotely, no email and a stuttering keyboard here. Less than perfection, just like every life.
Yet here you also are building your house and building your home. I’m becoming an ol’ phonograph record cause of you. Another lovely and sneaky poem, delivered here. As they do say, “not bad for being under pressure!” You take what is the disembodied ordinary and allow it to become, unexpectedly, what is not-uncommon, yet personal and less oft spoken aloud. Both a translation and transformation! Neat trick.
Thank you again, Neil! I’m traveling for work, so can’t visit a lot these days, but will catch up this weekend.
I hope you don’t mind if I share. I took the same challenge and limited myself to five minutes. This is what I came up with.
Construction
like this empty lot my heart
still under construction
demolish what was before
fast cold destruction
try to make the grade
have a good plan
lines that are plumb and true
foundation that will stand
do i have the tools
walls of wood or stone
keep things on the level
a forever place to call home
Of course you can share!
I like the time limit idea. In the past, I wrote for a challenge that had a 15 minute limit. But the idea died because it became obvious that many people were taking longer and it was a kind of contest. But the time limit really forces focus.
I like how you applied building terms to an romantic subject.