Sevenling (bitter berries)
2009 October 8
In a desperate attempt to get back on my poetic mare, here’s a sevenling. Roddy Lumsden’s form has specific rules, including using threes and a surprise ending.
Sevenling (bitter berries)
Grandmother chose six and all but one was lost;
Mother stopped at two; her Daughter followed close
behind, working hard for one, just one!
It’s said that “absence makes the heart grow fond,”
But they misunderstood the quote; it’s not absence, but
the family tree that seeds and blooms the
…bitter berries of divorce.
I love coming here and learning about poetic forms.
This is one that makes me feel I know what you’re saying, even if I don’t. I thought I knew in the first stanza, then wasn’t sure in the second, and then whap! didn’t see the end coming at all.
But it doesn’t matter what you meant, I want to keep thinking about it.
Oh, thank you, Linda! That’s just what I wanted to happen – a twist at the end.
Have I told you how much I appreciate your thoughtful comments?
I do. :-)
I can’t tell you how much that means to me, especially today. And are you writing out your last night’s dream?
I’m glad. And I hadn’t thought about writing out the dream, but it’s a good idea. I’ll think on it.
I love this one on “seedlings” and yes the bitter berry at the end but it doesn’t stop you wanting to have more.
Sean, I can’t disagree. Maybe I should have called it bitter-sweet, but I used that recently!
I think this was pretty cool. I really was surprised at the ending.
Thank you, G! I’m happy about the surprize.
When you say that Grandmother lost all but one, do you mean lost in a Black Widow kind of way? That would make for a great book rather than a poem.
(Note to self…don’t anger Pamela’s Grandma).
You’re lucky, TL, and safe – she’s long gone.
Bitter berries, you have to stop going for those bad boys, when you learn how let me know!!! Love Ya Great way to re-enter ~ Jason
Jason! So great to see you here…I sure will. ;-)
Oooh the bitter taste this leaves in my mouth. So honest and true.
Thank you, Colleen. And thank you for visiting – next time I hope the taste is sweeter. :-)